i dont believe in love, by any means. but i feel for you as close to love as i will let myself believe in and it hurts SO much. the second they broke up, i knew it wouldnt be the same anymore, i knew you would start talking to her again and not talk to me as much. shes my friend and i love her, but at the same time i HATE her because shes everything you want and everything im not. that makes me sad. you said those things to me about how you need me and how im one of the best friends youve ever had. yeah, okay. im sorry if im souding like a bitch but you cant say these things then not live up to them. i feel my heart breaking. the nothingness is coming back again. the only thing keeping me alive this long is you because i would never do that to you. one more thing in my life that so much as fucks with my mind, the knife is going deeper, and you can count on it. my heart has been shattered once before, but this might be the worst because you are the only thing that makes me happy. even music has been making me irritable. i dont know what to do, who to talk to, where to go. im lost. snd i need you to help me like im always there to help you. im sorry.