school at rbr has officially started. i hate it. i miss my friends and rbc. i didnt want to leave rbc but there was a series of complications. ive been more depressed than usual lately and ive been thinking a lot about a certain thing hat i dont want to think about, but it comes with the depression and i cant help it. i havent spoken to adam in about three weeks and its getting me a little upset. i felt like he was the person i could go to to talk about stuff with, and he wouldnt judge. i dont know what the deal is but its making me really upset. i gave up on my diet and im thinking about asking my doctor about a weight management pill.. its worth a try. that and also im considering an anti depressent even though i have refused from the start. so far i have two friends at rbr.. skye and camilla.. both of which are lesbians.... true. i cried for the first time in months the other night, and when i started crying i got so happy.. mainly because i couldnt cry until that point. i dont remember why i started crying, but i did and it felt amazing. the empty feeling i have is still there and hasnt gone away. my friend said that the emptiness is the depression,, i guess shes right. oh, by the way, sorry i havent written in a while, ive been kinda busy. i havent updated my flickr in 2 days, but ill just do it this weekend. speaking of this weekend, im going to the pony on friday with lairen to see the rapture. im so excited, i love them. anyway, i guess ill adjust to rbr, but i dont know yet.. whatever,.